When it's been too long

A recent column in the Bangkok Post compiled a list of signs that one has been in Bangkok for too long. Though I’ve only been here eight months, I read to see where I fall on the scale. (I think I'm okay to stay a little while longer.) Here are some of my faves:

"You tell someone it’s about 11 when it’s quarter to 12."

I wasn’t all that punctual before moving to Bangkok so living here just gives me an excuse. “What? I’m on Thai time.”

"You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus."

Yep, done that. (Well, while waiting for the light to change.)

"You stop thinking a girl riding pillion on a motorbike, side-saddle, wearing a mini-skirt, with one toe pointing towards the ground, while putting on makeup, is anything out of the ordinary."

This one's the funniest to me and so true—the motorbike acrobatics here are quite amusing. It’s not uncommon to see an entire family on one motorbike. And I’m baffled by the helmet logic. Many times the adults are wearing helmets but not the children. Or you’ll see someone riding with the helmet in his or her hand. Explain that one to me. I think it was Sarah (oh, I miss you Sarah!) with the theory that Thais have such good balance as adults because of all the time they spent on motorbikes as toddlers.

"You make the peace sign whenever you have your photo taken."

Ha! I haven’t done this. Not yet, anyway. But I see my students do it all the time. It also seems very Thai to take lots of group pictures. On the last day of every term, cameras are out in full force. You'll have a class that you didn't think you got particularly close to, but all of a sudden every student wants an individual picture with you. Puzzling.

[Addition: A few hours after posting this blog, I was taking pictures of Thai women dressed in their traditional costumes preparing to dance for an audience. One flashed me the peace sign, but I had my camera down and missed the blasted shot. Bummer! It would have been perfect.]

"When a visitor asks how can you stand the noise in Thailand, you answer 'What noise?'”

Oh, how I wish I were there. I read somewhere that Thailand should have a mute button and I’m in complete agreement. You’ve got all the traveling vendors with their unique sound—be it a horn or a song or a chant (mystery solved, the chanting comes from a feather duster vendor)—to alert potential customers. Then there are the taxi drivers with empty backseats who beep at pedestrians. And most piercing of all, the excessive whistle-blowing. The parking lot attendants and crossing guards all have them and all use them with gusto. (Actually, I think that was another sign mentioned in the column. You start parking your car with a whistle, or something like that.)

"You find that everything you own is counterfeit."

Well...maybe a few things. P'Tom, the coffee stand owner, wore his "Izod" shirt today and told me he sells them on the side for about $6. There's a true obsession with brand names here. Anyone who wants a Louis Vuitton, just let me know.

Here comes Peter Cassidy...

Melissa and Mike welcomed their firstborn, Peter Bradley Cassidy, into this world four weeks early on Monday. Congratulations you two! He's a doll and looking super cool already. He's going to love that adorable vintage cowboy theme you have waiting for him! I can't wait to meet him in person.

Happy Birthday Thai style

Today's my friend Stephanie's birthday so I emailed her this youtube video. But then I figured it's too good not to share with all of you. Listening to a group of Thais singing "Happy Birthday" makes me incredibly happy over here. The sound is just so joyous. As always, the Thais know how to put their own spin on something to make it that much more fun and quirky. This clip looks like what you see at all the karaoke bars here. I hope it brightens your day. Happy birthday Steph!

The things you find in the paper

Diesel dining

Went with some friends last night to a restaurant that probably has no real name, but we call it the "gas station restaurant" because it's in the parking lot of the Esso. It's as bare bones as it gets—a grill and Thailand's ubiquitous silver sidewalk tables—and there's the inevitable whiffs of gasoline, but get past that and you're rewarded with an outstanding meal for any price, let alone $3. People actually travel across town for the grilled fish here. We had one of those plus grilled chicken, grilled beef, lemongrass pork soup, papaya salad, and my beloved sticky rice to soak up all the dips. Alloy maak maak (really delicious ... I figure my use of Thai phrases is either getting on your nerves or you're storing them up to use on your trip over!)

Monsoon season

They say Thailand has three seasons: hot, hotter, and hot and rainy. The third seems to have arrived early this year, just in time for my friend Jen's visit from Atlanta. I met up with her after classes for an afternoon neither of us will soon forget. It began with a visit to a beautiful old Hindu temple and then across the street to one of my favorite art galleries, Kathmandu. Here's Jen checking out some art in the gorgeous upstairs section:

Jen's guidebook led us on a wild goose chase for an Indian restaurant. Before we could find it, the sky opened up for a downpour that renders an umbrella useless. We ducked for cover on one of the scary green buses (known for barely slowing to a full stop). Rode that for a while, missed a good stop, and finally got off and went inside an ice cream shop. The owners were in a state about something and upon closer inspection, we quickly exited - water was leaking on their karaoke machine, causing it to smoke. We walked on and finally made it to a skytrain station. The night ended with our soggy selves over plates of mango and sticky rice. Read more on Jen’s always-interesting, often hunger-inducing blog featuring tales of her many travel and culinary adventures. This girl loves food like I do!

Blasted Songkran

Daniel watching the colors of Thailand flash by on the way to Kanchanaburi

If I hadn’t written off Songkran by the time it ended in Bangkok (which I had), I'm certainly over it now. The holiday ended on a Tuesday in Bangkok, but who knew that the folks in Kanchanaburi were celebrating it Wednesday (the day we arrived) and Thursday? Well, lots of people. But not me. And not the friend I traveled with. When our sawngthaew, which was to take us from bus stop to guesthouse, stopped at the edge of the madness because it couldn’t go any further, Daniel's eyes widened in disbelief. “Can’t it just be over?” he wailed. “It’s like being stuck in a movie and they keep making horrible sequels.” We booked a room at the only guesthouse we could get to, but by the next day the mayhem had spread so that we were in the middle of it. There was no way out but through it, so we arrived at the River Kwai Bridge wet, plastered (not the drunk kind, but the literal kind) and tired of being touched by strangers. The streets finally quieted around eight that night (with the help of police) and we could really begin to enjoy this scenic river town.

A citrus and mint salad with a delectable dessert made of black beans and coconut.

Stairs that lead to a bat cave that leads to a floating nun.