Dating I

A word about Thai boys. It seems that, compared to American guys, a much larger percentage of them are gay. Well, I’m not sure if that’s actually the case, or if there’s just not as many in the closet because homosexuality is more socially accepted here. But because totally straight Thai guys can be effeminate (in the most endearing and attractive way), dating comes with an extra layer of puzzlement here. Case in point. A group of us were out Saturday night at this bar in my neighborhood that’s mountain-cabin-comes-to-Thailand: wood furnishings, buffalo horns along the walls, and a disco ball rotating above the sliver of dance floor. There’s live music and a livelier crowd once the whiskey settles in. The house band plays Thai folk songs, with the exception last night of two songs in English: Happy Birthday (much better with a Thai accent!) and Country Roads (okay, the last time I heard this song, I was in Piazza San Marco in Venice and there was a crowd gathered around a big screen singing karaoke to it…Who knew it was such an international fave?!?) Anyway, Sarah swears this guy is checking me out. I start to question her position, though, when I see him feel the beat a little too much in his shoulders. “Sarah, I think he might be gay.” She’s laughing, but insisting, “No, he’s not gay. Thai guys just dance like that. Wait, you’ll see them all get up and do it soon.” A few minutes later: “Sarah, look now. Tell me he’s gay.” The music had pulled him out of his seat for a little jig. But after about thirty seconds, he covers his mouth with a giggle and sits down. “I swear he’s not gay. Thai guys do that. They want to dance, but then they get embarrassed. Plus, this is a country bar. Gay guys wouldn’t come here.” (I figure the fact that one of the guys with us is gay is a useless argument.) This goes on a few more times until finally, “Okay, Sarah, look now!” He was up dancing with a woman’s pink scarf around his shoulders and lip-syncing to another guy. “Oh god. Okay, he’s gay.” But just to be 100 percent sure: “Hey, Scott, is that guy gay?” And with the look of absolute certainty, “Oh yeah.”

Dating II to come later. Yes, it takes two entries. It’s complicated ching-ching (really) here.