Critiquing someone's appearance in Thailand is not necessarily considered rude. In fact, it's seen as being helpful. One of the first comments a friend might make to another is about her weight gain or loss. I got my own critique during class when I told my students I had a bad habit of slouching. I was trying to elicit solutions from them, but they misunderstood and thought I was asking for more bad habits. I was matter-of-factly told to wear more make-up and dress up more. (Thais are particular about appearance and it's common to see girls powdering themselves in public. They also have a high regard for teachers and like to see them dressed pretty formally.) I was laughing about this in the teacher's lounge, and one teacher had just returned from the cafeteria where as she reached for a Coke, one of her sweetest students tapped her on the arm and with the biggest, most sincere smile, said “No, don't get Coke. Coke makes you more fat. Get Coke One or Diet Pepsi.” Another teacher had been told by a student “You look great from the side, but like this [gesturing face-to-face], not so good.” Students will laugh at the fat girl in class (“She's fat. Haha.”) or the lady boy (“She used to be a he. Heehee.”) and the subject of the riddling just laughs right along. This may seem insensitive, but I get the feeling it's more to the contrary. Thais place a lot of importance on “saving face”, and by being so open about things that may cause insecurity, it seems they're actually helping the person become less self-conscious. It's a nice idea, but somehow I think only Thais can get away with it.
10.14.2007
Thailand: The Secret to Thicker Skin
Critiquing someone's appearance in Thailand is not necessarily considered rude. In fact, it's seen as being helpful. One of the first comments a friend might make to another is about her weight gain or loss. I got my own critique during class when I told my students I had a bad habit of slouching. I was trying to elicit solutions from them, but they misunderstood and thought I was asking for more bad habits. I was matter-of-factly told to wear more make-up and dress up more. (Thais are particular about appearance and it's common to see girls powdering themselves in public. They also have a high regard for teachers and like to see them dressed pretty formally.) I was laughing about this in the teacher's lounge, and one teacher had just returned from the cafeteria where as she reached for a Coke, one of her sweetest students tapped her on the arm and with the biggest, most sincere smile, said “No, don't get Coke. Coke makes you more fat. Get Coke One or Diet Pepsi.” Another teacher had been told by a student “You look great from the side, but like this [gesturing face-to-face], not so good.” Students will laugh at the fat girl in class (“She's fat. Haha.”) or the lady boy (“She used to be a he. Heehee.”) and the subject of the riddling just laughs right along. This may seem insensitive, but I get the feeling it's more to the contrary. Thais place a lot of importance on “saving face”, and by being so open about things that may cause insecurity, it seems they're actually helping the person become less self-conscious. It's a nice idea, but somehow I think only Thais can get away with it.
