Joop-joop (kiss-kiss) from Sumo to you

Word around the water cooler is all about Thailand's current government and whether or not its alleged corruption will lead to another military coup (and whether or not such a coup would be sufficient grounds for a day off work). In more personal news, my friend Allan told me he’s moving back to Canada, putting me in a gloomy mood last week. It seems lately as soon as I get to know someone, he or she is moving away. I’ll miss having him around, just as I miss the others I’ve befriended and waved off in the short time I’ve been here. I suppose that comes with the territory of living in a foreign country. You’re more likely to meet transient people—and at some point in the next year, I'll be the one leaving. The good news is you’ve got great places to visit (Philippines, Australia, China. I’m dreaming now.) Also on the upside, as often as someone leaves, you meet someone new with another set of interesting experiences and viewpoints. I went out Thursday night with a new friend from Colombia and got a kick out of her stories from the six months she lived in the States, her shopping nirvana. She loved all the designer clothes you can get for relatively cheap (“You know Ross, dress for less.”) The sound she associates with America is the clack-clack-clack of shoppers methodically working their way through racks of clothes, moving hangers quickly to one side until something appeals. We laughed at the Bath and Body Works mentality. You go in for one bottle of soap but leave with five because of the get-one-free promotion. You'll never use all five, but you buy them anyway because it’s a “deal”. (I’ve never seen a shopping culture like this one, though. When I ask my students what they did over the weekend, I’m guaranteed shop, sleep, watch TV, in that order with rare exceptions. Thailand has its own version of the B&BW promotion: go to the popular Pratunam wholesale district, and the more you buy, the cheaper the items.)

I spend more time with other “farang” than with native Thais, say around 60-40, partly because we’re in the same situation and most Thais are already settled into their own lives with family and friends. I feel really lucky, though, to have somewhat of a surrogate Thai family. P'Tom, as you may recall, owns the coffee stand I frequent and says the things my mom would want someone over here saying to me: Be careful walking home; Don’t stay out too late; Go exercise (all advice I heed, of course…Mom). I stop by there many afternoons on my way home from work to order a fruit shake and hang out with him and his wife and any other regulars who may be there. It’s on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant that serves heaping plates of Thai food for $1. The restaurant’s owner has three kids and there's usually a couple more hanging around. Unlike most other Thai children I’ve seen, these are all over the place—climbing on top of the table, playing with things on the ground, trying to push each other down. It can be a circus, but always hugely entertaining. The youngest one, Sumo, is a lovable chunk; he has the cutest cheeks and Michelin Man legs. If you say "joop joop", he'll kiss your cheek. So there I was last night sitting at P'Tom’s little wooden table, eating my dollar dinner, watching all the people go by, and contemplating how lucky I am that this all came together so nicely. Lucky to have parents who supported my move, great friends back home to skype with, Sarah who introduced me to P'Tom, among other great people and places in Bangkok. The only downside is missing you all, and of course my new nephew Ben, who isn't included in "you all" because he can't read yet. But look, he's working on it. There he is below with his best friend Lucy. Laura says he starts laughing every time Lucy comes in the room. So, yeah, pretty big downside indeed.


And here's Sumo:


This one's blurry, but too cute not to share:

New look in progress

Well, I just had to get rid of that boring ol' header. This isn't perfect I realize, but it's gotta be better, right? It's actually my first photoshop graphic attempt and the last picture's probably too busy, and the colors look much better before I post it to the web, and there's this weird grainy effect around the text, and yada yada yada. But hey, it'll do for now. I gotta get outside and play.

To make up for my photoshop laziness, I'll give you a good laugh. I have a student named F (yes, English letters also make for popular Thai nicknames here.) The class was up and getting into groups and I hear one student yell across the room: "F you too!"

He has asked me if he should change his nickname before going to the States for university. I told him it'd probably be a good idea.

What a beautiful wreck you are

Ayutthaya, a river-encircled city about an hour outside of Bangkok, was the majestic capital of Thailand for four centuries until 1767 when the Burmese conquered and left it in ruins. People like to say there's nothing there now but elephants and temples, and that's about right. But the elephants and temples make it well worth a trip. I went there last week to visit a couple I got to know in Chiang Mai and had a wonderful time with them as my tour guides. On my first night there, Yada demonstrated the awesome potential of a rice cooker and hot plate—I'd go back just for more of her almond fried chicken. We also managed to break from our South Park/Chris Rock-era Saturday Night Live marathon enough to do some nice sight-seeing, including a sunset boat ride with views like the one I took above.

Reade and Yada at one of the temple grounds.


The Burmese destroyed what they could of the city, going so far as to decapitate sacred Buddha figures. The ruins are so beautiful, though, and brought to mind the Shawn Mullins song from which I ripped off my title.


Only one temple was not destroyed by the Burmese. The king of Burma used Wat Na Phrameru Rachikaram as a military base and fired canons from it. Injured from firing a canon himself, he died on his way back to Burma for treatment.


We stopped by the Elephant Kraal, where elephants live and are trained for ceremonies and battle reenactments. The handsome fellow below is just ten days old. He was trying to run before he could walk—so cute to watch. I was sitting on a bench taking pictures when a six-month-old elephant named Santa came over and hugged me—or so I thought—with his trunk. Turns out it's his bench and he wanted it back. Good thing I wasn't in the mother's seat.



An enormous fence of red teak posts (seen below behind Yada and the elephants) enclosed the area. One of the kraal owners told us the posts were handcarved by twelve women in their 70s. I couldn't find more information on that, but will look into it next time I'm there.


PS: Can't you just hear the smaller elephant saying "Me, me, don't forget me!"?

When it's been too long

A recent column in the Bangkok Post compiled a list of signs that one has been in Bangkok for too long. Though I’ve only been here eight months, I read to see where I fall on the scale. (I think I'm okay to stay a little while longer.) Here are some of my faves:

"You tell someone it’s about 11 when it’s quarter to 12."

I wasn’t all that punctual before moving to Bangkok so living here just gives me an excuse. “What? I’m on Thai time.”

"You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus."

Yep, done that. (Well, while waiting for the light to change.)

"You stop thinking a girl riding pillion on a motorbike, side-saddle, wearing a mini-skirt, with one toe pointing towards the ground, while putting on makeup, is anything out of the ordinary."

This one's the funniest to me and so true—the motorbike acrobatics here are quite amusing. It’s not uncommon to see an entire family on one motorbike. And I’m baffled by the helmet logic. Many times the adults are wearing helmets but not the children. Or you’ll see someone riding with the helmet in his or her hand. Explain that one to me. I think it was Sarah (oh, I miss you Sarah!) with the theory that Thais have such good balance as adults because of all the time they spent on motorbikes as toddlers.

"You make the peace sign whenever you have your photo taken."

Ha! I haven’t done this. Not yet, anyway. But I see my students do it all the time. It also seems very Thai to take lots of group pictures. On the last day of every term, cameras are out in full force. You'll have a class that you didn't think you got particularly close to, but all of a sudden every student wants an individual picture with you. Puzzling.

[Addition: A few hours after posting this blog, I was taking pictures of Thai women dressed in their traditional costumes preparing to dance for an audience. One flashed me the peace sign, but I had my camera down and missed the blasted shot. Bummer! It would have been perfect.]

"When a visitor asks how can you stand the noise in Thailand, you answer 'What noise?'”

Oh, how I wish I were there. I read somewhere that Thailand should have a mute button and I’m in complete agreement. You’ve got all the traveling vendors with their unique sound—be it a horn or a song or a chant (mystery solved, the chanting comes from a feather duster vendor)—to alert potential customers. Then there are the taxi drivers with empty backseats who beep at pedestrians. And most piercing of all, the excessive whistle-blowing. The parking lot attendants and crossing guards all have them and all use them with gusto. (Actually, I think that was another sign mentioned in the column. You start parking your car with a whistle, or something like that.)

"You find that everything you own is counterfeit."

Well...maybe a few things. P'Tom, the coffee stand owner, wore his "Izod" shirt today and told me he sells them on the side for about $6. There's a true obsession with brand names here. Anyone who wants a Louis Vuitton, just let me know.

Here comes Peter Cassidy...

Melissa and Mike welcomed their firstborn, Peter Bradley Cassidy, into this world four weeks early on Monday. Congratulations you two! He's a doll and looking super cool already. He's going to love that adorable vintage cowboy theme you have waiting for him! I can't wait to meet him in person.

Happy Birthday Thai style

Today's my friend Stephanie's birthday so I emailed her this youtube video. But then I figured it's too good not to share with all of you. Listening to a group of Thais singing "Happy Birthday" makes me incredibly happy over here. The sound is just so joyous. As always, the Thais know how to put their own spin on something to make it that much more fun and quirky. This clip looks like what you see at all the karaoke bars here. I hope it brightens your day. Happy birthday Steph!

The things you find in the paper